Are You An English Major?

If you are, I'd like to ask you a few questions:

1) Do you read the required novels on time, every time?

2) If so, do you enjoy that?

3) Are you both critical and creative in your essays?

4) Do you find symbolic meaning in every word you see?

5) Do you get 80s on most essays?

6) Do you feel like an incompetent, illiterate fool if you don't?

I am an English Major at the University of Toronto, and today I came to the realization:

I hate studying English at U of T. I hate writing essays. I am neither argumentative nor creative.

I have no passion or interest for dwelling on the meaning of certain words nor the placement of particular commas.


I cannot tell you why I Majored in English. I truly can't.