In the meantime...Fairies

Are You An English Major?

If you are, I'd like to ask you a few questions:

1) Do you read the required novels on time, every time?

2) If so, do you enjoy that?

3) Are you both critical and creative in your essays?

4) Do you find symbolic meaning in every word you see?

5) Do you get 80s on most essays?

6) Do you feel like an incompetent, illiterate fool if you don't?

I am an English Major at the University of Toronto, and today I came to the realization:

I hate studying English at U of T. I hate writing essays. I am neither argumentative nor creative.

I have no passion or interest for dwelling on the meaning of certain words nor the placement of particular commas.


I cannot tell you why I Majored in English. I truly can't.

Linda Griffiths’ Age of Arousal: Play Review

            Age of Arousal written by Linda Griffiths and directed by Kate Lynch along with David Jansen, was performed at The Helen Gardiner Phelan Playhouse at U of T from March 5^th-16^th. Griffiths’ play was highly influenced by a piece which had been written in the 1800s, The Odd Women, written by novelist George Gissing. She is quoted as saying, “Age of Arousal was ‘Wildly inspired’ by George Gissing’s The Odd Women. ‘Wild’ – because of liberties taken. ‘Inspired’ – because without his inspiration: there would be no play.” Griffiths is a writer and actor and studied at Dawson College, the National Theatre School of Canada and McGill University.  She is the recipient of five Dora Mavor Moore awards, a Gemini award, two Chalmer’s awards, the Quizanne International Festival Award for Jessica, and Los Angeles’ A.G.A. Award for her performance in John Sayles’ film Lianna (cite Wiki). Considered one of “Canada’s originals” (Maclean’s Magazine, 1991), Griffiths’ Age of Arousal won the Betty Mitchell for Best New Play. Her array of decorated awards is indicative of the masterful artistry showcased in her writing.  

The cast of this production was comprised of student actors – some from U of T, and some from abroad. Director and actor Kate Lynch played the role of Mary Barfoot; Briar Knowles, Ottawa and Toronto actor, as Rhoda Nunn; Anahita Abolhassani, University of Toronto student, as Alice Madden; Sally Nazaki, established theatrical actor, as Monica Madden; Connie Wang, also a University of Toronto Studem, as Virginia Madden and Matthew Lawrence, one last U of T drama major, as the cunning Everard Barfoot. These students were valorous on stage – fearless demanders of their listeners’ attention and respect for their craft through their boisterous line delivery and solid command of the stage.

            At a time when women “outnumbered men by 500, 000 and were destined never to marry”, these student actresses had to embody every characteristic strength of the 19^th century female. Lynch’s production of Age of Arousal cleverly showcased the raw and invigorating political content of the script. The dialogue focussed on female emancipation through the expression of personal and intellectual growth, but particularly sexual freedom, by keeping the staging clear of props, the lighting easy, the colour of the costumes muted. This forced the audience into a position of attention which hinged on the actors’ every last word, as there were no distractions to hinder our focus.

A play about five women living in the 19^th century as the Suffragette movement began to take socio-political constructs by storm, they find themselves in circumstances which test the boundaries of feminist virtue. The play begins with Miss Barfoot and Rhoda and the exchange of an intimate kiss – the first indication that a romance exists between the two. It is not long before we learn that they share the passion for strengthening female work ethic, intellect and inner strength. We are then introduced to the Madden sisters who emulate every characteristic of a woman Barfoot and Rhoda resent and strive to eliminate. Through the introduction of the typewriter, Barfoot and Rhoda aim to take these seemingly impressionable ambitionless women and turn them into confident, working strongholds. However, when Dr. Everard Barfoot meets these women and a love affair is sparked between the youngest Madden sister, and a very surprised Rhoda, they are put to the test of their values. Do they abandon their firm belief in girl power and give into companionate love? Or do they hold onto their steadfast beliefs, and abject the compromise ensured in handing over their hands in marriage to a man?

The incorporation of feminist ideals – like striving to establish equal work opportunities for women by teaching them work ethic in a secretarial college – and sentiments of sexual emancipation – to engage in casual sex, or not to? – was interwoven in the discourses between characters. Expressing their inner feelings to the audience through the artistic form of “asides”- a dramatic device in which a character speaks to the audience, we were aware of the sexual energy vibrating of these females throughout the entirety of the play. What provided the foundation for this presentation of deeply charged dialogue was the minimalist stage set. Their representation of the characters was so charged with emotive energy and clarity, that the need for a more detailed set was unnecessary. A wall painted white with two windows and French doors painted white served as the backdrop which did not change throughout the entirety of the production. During set transitions, props were removed or added, but there was rarely any more than a table and chairs on set at a time. There were no paintings, there was little colour. The set did not distract the viewers’ eyes from the detail of the characters’ dialogue. During moments when there were several characters engaged in “asides”, a heavily decorated set may have distracted from the numerous spoken trajectories taking place.

            Also assisting in the deterrence of any further distractions from the complexity of conversation, was the simplistic use of lighting. The lighting throughout the show was lowered and raised intermittently to indicate scene changes or mood implications. The colours of the lights were mostly a dim yellow, pale white or at times a muted blue. At no point throughout the performance were the colours of the lights vibrant or gaudy. By keeping the lighting easy on the eyes, the emphasis was concentrated on the interactions and discussions between characters, and not on locations where light was being focussed or coloured. This said, a dimming effect was used during monologues or “asides”. When a character chose to reveal their inner thoughts about sexuality, most often, a spotlight would be cast around them so as to focus specifically on the delivery of the aside monologue. This technique did not serve as a distraction by any means, and instead served as a stylistic element which drew the audience attention in further.

An additional way the focus was maintained and reflective of the content of the dialogue was through the simplicity of the costumes. Authentic of the 1890s, the costumes worn by the actresses were made from very pale-coloured fabric. The youngest, and interestingly, most sexually free, character, Monica Madden, however, wore dresses which emphasized the feminine curvatures of her body, which were louder in colour: at one point, a rich orange. Comparatively, the remaining female characters wore costumes which did not accentuate their female characteristics, and were dark green, grey, black, and beige coloured. Because of the dull color scheme, as a viewer one is not taken back or drawn in by the stimulation that might have been offered by a costume of brighter colour. In this way, it was easy to connect Monica’s more openly sexual demeanor with the more vibrant, flaunting colour of her clothing. Rhoda and Miss Barfoot, disciplined and zealous suffragettes, for example wore dresses which evinced no hint at skin or sexual appeal.

            Age of Arousal incorporates sexuality in ways which support the outward ideals of feminism which are conveyed throughout the entirety of the play. A play largely about encouraging women to emancipate their inner feelings of intellectual or perhaps monetary repression, sexuality acts as a cohesion of female independence and expression. The times the audience becomes aware of the nuanced subtleties of sexuality is through the dialogue the actors have with themselves. For instance, in a conversation between Everard and Monica, we are only presented with their true, most often sexual, inner thoughts when they engage in side remarks which employ actor and audience and remove themselves from the actor to actor interaction at hand.

            This play brings its audience to consider the achievements of feminist suffragettes – to mull over the societal views that have changed, as well as the ones that haven’t. We are called to observe what equality means, for men and women. This play warrants further discussion about where men and women are to draw the line, in sexual relations as well as in societal and personal relations, before independence is threatened. How far must one go to preserve their independence? How much are people willing to bend or accommodate their values for the sake of personal pleasure or gain? It seemed an unspoken consensus that the audience was quite pleased with what they had seen that night – as presumed by the numerous nodding heads and smiling faces, and the occasional comment of “Wow, she was great”. With a cast of six members and a show that was a little over two hours long, it is commendable that the actors had the talent to carry such a lengthy, meticulous piece.

How to Handle a Break-up in Your Twenties

Cry.

Get it all out. Don't even bother trying to play the part of the person who couldn't care less - unless you do. If you're hurt, cry. What's important here is to allot an amount of time for mourning.

I'd say give yourself a week. An entire week. Allow yourself to slack off, cry yourself to sleep, become engorged with chocolate and ice cream, or survive on cigarettes, coffee and weed as I have. You get the point, give yourself a week to hit rock bottom. Listen to love songs, stare at their Facebook profile pictures, wait for their name to appear on the screen of your phone, begin text messages that you have no courage to send (don't send them unless you know exactly what you're doing), reminisce about all the things you could've said...would've said...should've said.

And then, by the end of the week, let go. Let go of their face, of the detail around their eyes. Let go of their scent and the shape of their nail-bed. Because it's gone now.

Thinking about the ghosts of their presence will do nothing but drive you to the madhouse.

By letting go, this is what I mean:

- thank God for their presence in your life - it was there for a reason, we may not be ready to know
- accept that what you had was beautiful but that the reason for it's end is telling.
- it ended because it had to
- release the memories from your mind
- do not torture yourself by regurgitating these memories
- put them in a box and hide it away at the back of your mind

Now,

Find assurance or comfort in the fact that life is a very curious thing. There just might be a time where you become two people that are now ready to take on the world together. Consider the time apart as prep. You had to develop on your own to become the person who just might fit your once-love's life.

Go out with your friends. I know how much I hate when people say that. "Keep busy". "Find a hobby". "Call up an old friend"

You really don't have to do any of this. What I do recommend is a daily joint. When your body is numb, somehow, you're able to repeal thoughts that might hurt you. Or you find the answers you were searching for.

If you don't smoke weed then just do what you love. If you play the piano, you hammer away at that thing. If you play soccer, you take every chance you get to run around on that field.

Eventually you will have filled the void with other things. With things you love, or help you grow. And then just like that - you've forgotten what it was like to be unhappy.

I'm only two days in. Wish me luck.