I apologize that my posts have took a turn as of late and have become very personal. The reason being: I do not keep a diary and I do not feel like gushing to my friends about the way I feel. They'd probably never talk to me again. I use this medium to vent, and seeing as I have two followers and about three views a day, I'm quite sure no one pays attention to this anyways.
I know he's over it. I know I never cross his mind. I know it doesn't bother him. I know it and I hate it. And I feel helpless and stupid. Helpless because there's nothing I can do to insert a thought of me into his mind every so often, and stupid because I shouldn't feel this way and it's silly of me to entertain the feelings I have for him, so much so that I think about him all the time.
It's pathetic, I know. I bore myself thinking about it. It's become such a daily occurence that thinking about my feelings has become boring and tiresome.
Whatever. "HOW TO DEAL". I should look into that. I've become the lamest person I know. Fantastic.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
When is Enough really Enough?
Sometimes, maybe it is the smart thing to quit while you're ahead. I am neither ahead nor behind nor moving at all, so at this point although giving up does not seem to make any logical sense, it is really the only option I have left.
Except that,
I've tried. Oh yes I have tried. I made it almost a little more than a week, I believe, without talking to him at all. But it's impossible. I gave in like he had the first time.
I know he wants her. I know she wants him. (At least that's what it looks like.) I have no idea why he wastes his time with me.
So, I've decided to FUCK IT...whatever that means.
Except that,
I've tried. Oh yes I have tried. I made it almost a little more than a week, I believe, without talking to him at all. But it's impossible. I gave in like he had the first time.
I know he wants her. I know she wants him. (At least that's what it looks like.) I have no idea why he wastes his time with me.
So, I've decided to FUCK IT...whatever that means.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Transcendental
Time. Ultimately transcendental. What is it about time that heals? What powers does it possess? With time memories fade, people grow, people change...
But what is it about time specifically that fixes? How does it know how to make the pain go away? Is it only a temporary mender, as it knows that one can never be completely happy, and that sequential unhappiness is inevitable however the "when" and "for how long"'s go unknown.
"When"..."how long"...There it is again: time.
Such a mysterious and captivating thing. With time one learns to let go. One stops missing. One forgets. One moves on.
How does time do it? But what's more, why don't we possess the power to control it?? To speed it up or slow it down when we need to.
It has a power all its own and is completely out of our reach. Like love.
Time and love are immeasurable as they will never be tangible. They are out of our grasp and cannot be contained or sped up or slowed down.
What is it about time and love that go hand-in-hand, that are interchangeable???
It must be something. There must be some sort of answer. I'm yet to find it, however.
Sidenote: sorry this got so deep haha
But what is it about time specifically that fixes? How does it know how to make the pain go away? Is it only a temporary mender, as it knows that one can never be completely happy, and that sequential unhappiness is inevitable however the "when" and "for how long"'s go unknown.
"When"..."how long"...There it is again: time.
Such a mysterious and captivating thing. With time one learns to let go. One stops missing. One forgets. One moves on.
How does time do it? But what's more, why don't we possess the power to control it?? To speed it up or slow it down when we need to.
It has a power all its own and is completely out of our reach. Like love.
Time and love are immeasurable as they will never be tangible. They are out of our grasp and cannot be contained or sped up or slowed down.
What is it about time and love that go hand-in-hand, that are interchangeable???
It must be something. There must be some sort of answer. I'm yet to find it, however.
Sidenote: sorry this got so deep haha
Worlds Greatest Bank Robbery
You must watch this. Totally genius.
Worlds Greatest Bank Robbery
Read up on what the Washington Post article had to say about the 2005 Brazilian heist!
Worlds Greatest Bank Robbery
Read up on what the Washington Post article had to say about the 2005 Brazilian heist!
You Must Experience!
Seeing as the summer break is finally here for all those college and university-goers, many of us have tons of time on our hands and no idea where to begin to make the most of it. Well, may I provide you with a few suggestions?
Go out for a night on the town with your best friends or your loved one, and catch a flick! Specifically make a mental reminder of "Water for Elephants". Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson (although not a personal fan of either) really shine as it appears they are in their element in this movie as circus performers. I mean not to say they are clowns in any way, just that their partnership in creativity under a circus tent is phenomenal. Definitely a must-see this summer.
Go for a bike ride! Biking is an awesome way to work your muscles and get out there and catch some rays. Ride through a part of town you are unfamiliar with and stop by the local bakery for a pastery or milkshake! You really can't go wrong.
Catch some local theatrical talent! Tomorrow night I will be watching "Forrests" at the Terragon Theatre in downtown Toronto! The talent is supposed to be mind-blowing, so I'm uber excited. Check out what kind of plays are being produced around you!
Spend the day at the spa. If you live in Toronto, you might want to check out The Elmwood Spa and venture out to visit a masseuse. Apparently they really know how to get right in their and mend your broken mind and body! If you're like me and trying to mend a broken heart, a spa and massage might be just the way to go.
Need more suggestions? Check out What's On Toronto.com for a great list of restaurants, free gigs, best jazz bars and local shows to catch!
Enjoy!!
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